Guest Cast-
Krista Allen- Maitreya (Jade Blue Afterglow)
Jamie Marsh-
Ivan Martinez
Constance Zimmer- Phoebe
Billy Ray Gallion- Retro
Tom
Braidwood- Melvin Frohike
Dean Haglund- Langly
Bruce Harwood- John
Byers
Michael Ray Bower- Lo-Fat
Ryan Todd- Moxie
James Geraldine-
Detective Lacoeur
John Marrott- Security Guard
Christopher Ng- Darryl
Musashi
Plot- Mulder and Scully get drawn into a VR killing game and kick some tail feathers!
Ivan:
The blood thirst is unquenchable!
---
Retro:
Who are you?
Maitreya:
I am Maitreya. This is my game. (Her hand morphs into one holding a flintlock. She shoots
Retro)
---
Scully:
Video games...
Mulder:
Digital entertainment...
Scully:
I can get into the Pentagon easier than this.
Langly:
(Coming up the
stairs) Dudes! Agent Mulder, what's up old man? Welcome to the land where
silicon meets silicone.
Frohike:
Can I get you a Latte from the bar? Or perhaps
a bottle of designer H2O?
---
Byers:
Langly did some programming for them. He created
all of the bad guys.
Langly:
Only the Euro-Goons.
---
Scully:
Only there's a dead body between you and untold
riches.
Mulder:
I don't know about you guys, but I'd be checking
my shorts for cake...
---
Phoebe:
Moxie's covering Retro, who's going inside after
the enemy... to rack up beaucoup points...
Frohike:
And then, goosh, Retro's vitals spike, like
he's been shot.
Byers:
And... the system defaults.
Phoebe:
And they're right back in the game space. Lights
up, game over.
---
Byers:
Holy Toledo.
Frohike:
She's packing a flintlock.
Mulder:
That's not all she's packing. (She's dressed in a skimpy outfit, fishnets and heels)
---
Detective:
(Seeing the photo of
Maitreya) Hey, I'll put out an APB for Fredericks of Hollywood.
---
Scully:
What's he doing here (Darryl
Musashi)?
Byers:
Ivan must have called him... to go in and slay
the ninja babe.
Scully:
Mulder, why does this game have the effect of
reducing grown men back to moody adolescents?
Mulder:
(With a childlike, gleeful
expression) It's Darryl Musashi!
---
Ivan:
Pay attention, worms! Darryl Musashi's gonna show
us how this game's supposed to be played.
Frohike:
I heard he scored 90 consecutive wounds on
Demon Space Drifter.
Phoebe:
91.
Langly:
Look at him, the man's a Sphinx.
---
Mulder:
(Picking up Retro's Kevlar
vest) I've got a birthday coming up! You have to admit though, Scully,
this is a pretty amazing piece of technology.
Scully:
Yeah, wasted on a stupid game.
Mulder:
Stupid?
Scully:
Dressing up like hi-tech warriors to play a
futuristic version of Cowboys and Indians. What kind of moron gets his yah-yahs
from that?
---
Scully:
Well, that must be why men feel the great need
to bust the crap out of stuff.
---
Scully:
Pictures don't kill people, Mulder. Guns kill
people.
Mulder:
(Darryl's slashed body is
wheeled in to the morgue) As do swords. (The body is
uncovered, and Darryl's head is between his feet) The world renowned
Darryl Musashi.
---
(Cops are standing outside the interrogation room laughing. Out comes Detective Lacoeur, and we see a hot babe in the room rubbing her legs. The cops all hush. He bites his knuckle and they all start laughing)
Cop 1:
Who's the man?
Cop 2:
He's the man! He's the man with the badge!
Scully:
(Pushing her way through the
crowd of cops) I have the feeling these men have nothing better to do?
Lacoeur:
We... picked her up outside a strip club in
Merceda. Fits your description to a T.
Scully:
Was she read her rights?
Lacoeur:
About 500 times... (Cops
laugh, Scully goes into the room. As Mulder goes in, he also bites his knuckle.
They all laugh)
---
Afterglow:
Oh, you must have me confused with my sister,
Xena Warrior Princess.
---
(When Miss Afterglow is leaving, Mulder leans over in the chair to watch her leave sideways. Scully herself leans over to block his view)
Mulder:
I don't know about you, Scully, but I... feel
the great need to blast the crap out of something.
---
Game announcer:
9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..
Engage.
Mulder:
(Dressed in full battle
array) Bring it on...
---
Phoebe:
(Seeing Mulder running after
Maitreya instead of getting out of the game) What is he doing?
Scully:
He's getting his yah-yahs out.
---
Scully:
(Keeping Ivan away from
Phoebe as Mulder's getting his ass kicked by Maitreya) Hey! Not for
picking on a girl.
---
Mulder:
Whoa! Stop right there! (He
has a sword, Maitreya pulls a gun. He drops the sword) Well, that's not
really fair, is it? (4 more Maitreyas pop up from the
sand) Well, that's just cheating...
(The door opens, and out comes Scully, dressed in full battle array. She starts mowing down Maitreyas)
Frohike:
You go girl!
Langly:
Ha ha!
Byers:
Oh, Scully is on fire!
Langly:
The blood thirst is unquenchable!
Frohike:
Are you witnessing this?
Ivan:
Oh, yeah.
Byers:
Scully's in the zone!
Ivan:
Clearly...
---
Scully:
(After beating all of the
Rodeo Maitreyas, to Mulder) You okay?
Mulder:
Ask me if I'm humiliated.
---
(The Lone Gunmen open the door, find our dazed agents in the room. Scully looks more phased than Mulder. Mulder is smiling)
Mulder:
That's entertainment! (They walk out)
---
Mulder:
We came, we saw, we conquered. And if the taste
of victory is sweet, the taste of virtual victory is not Sweet N Low. Nor the
bullets made of sugar. Maybe our past, where the imagination ends, our true
natures lie. (Ivan is head-down at the computer, when
suddenly the wire-frame of a woman appears, walking) Waiting to be
confronted on their own terms. Not where the intellect is at war with the
primitive brain, in the hostile territory of the digital world, where the laws
are silent, and rules disappear in the midst of arms. (The
texture appears on the wire-frame, and it's the body of Maitreya, holding that
flintlock, but there's something different now) Born in anarchy, with an
unquenchable blood thirst, we shudder to think what might rise up from the
darkness. (And we see what it is... it's UberScully.)
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